A poem by J. David Fay

Some, not so gentle, breezes blow at a spot outside of Rome,
Where some blue-collared men, come again and again
To their home away from home.

A simple game with a ball and a stick is what they like to play,
Where the language is rough and the course is tough,
But, they come back day after day.

Good ambiance is a funny thing, it’s either there or not,
And you need someone who likes to have fun
To keep it running hot.

Wes and Lauren run the place, where the brook runs through the glen.
He loves breaking balls – and, I guess, booty calls,
Cause he’s got her pregnant again.

We’ve got old Rog – Jack of all trades – with a chain saw he does ride,
His booty call is to hear trees fall –
And he sells a little wood on the side.

Dakota and Jeff, the chatterbox boys – Rog’s clone and the Hamilton jock,
They tell jokes that were great, back in ’58 –
I’m confused now, cause that is Rothrock.

Then, of course, there’s Brit, our nightingale, she’s as warm as the southern skies
She might hit you with a chip or a finger flip,
Harv – just watch for the flash of her eyes.

It’s time again for our fall event, where nerves can run on high.
Cupp Cup is here, the high spot of our year
While Pacicca pressure stands by.

Mark’ll chomp his cigar and Josh will burn – JR throw a club or two,
Kenny will stroll and so will Krol
As we try to swagger through.

We owe our hosts a vote of thanks for the fun they’ve brought our way
So, let’s tell Wes, and Lauren – no less –
That we really hope they stay.

And one more thing: when the last putt falls, we’re friends again – not foes.
We’ll share our pain and drink champagne
AND NOBODY WILL BURN THEIR CLOTHES!

Session #1 – BEST BALL (Dizzers 4, Wessers 2)
Every year. Seriously. The Lauren Dizzers once again got off to their famous hot start and doubled up on the Wessers, 4 to 2. Captain Lauren always seems to press the right buttons and create favorable matchups to give her squad a head start.
One big difference this time around was that only ONE session was played on the opening day due to the pending nuptials for Wesser Freddy Pacicca that afternoon. The Dizzers would have to sleep on the lead heading into Sunday.

Session #2 – ALTERNATE SHOT (Wessers 5, Dizzers 1, Wessers 4, Dizzers 2)
And just like clockwork in an almost predictable script, the Wessers came screaming back in the alternate shot on Sunday morning. Fun Fact: Wessers have won 55% of the Alternate Shot matches all-time (source: Bob Pawlak Sports Statistics, LLC). The session ended with the Wessers taking five of the six points in the session. Well, at least for a little while.

The last match of the session pitted the Wessers’ Jeff Gifford and Charles Martin against the Dizzers’ Mike Seifert and Kris Harvey. With a gaggle of golf carts surrounding the last remaining match on the course, Giff inexplicably hit a toe shank flop shot with a hybrid off of the 17th tee. After a search party of twenty-five eventually “found” the ball, it was heroically chipped out, and a bogey was saved by the Wessers. Inexplicably, Seif and Harvey made a mess of the hole from the fairway, carding a double bogey. They gift wrapped the hole for Giff and Martin who were left for dead in the pricker bushes just minutes earlier. Giff and Martin won the 18th, giving them the 2 up “victory.”
HOWEVER, an innocent ball hawking effort by Leslie the next morning yielded the ball in question in the right woods on 17, complete with Giff’s unique markings (see photo below). With this new evidence and to procure a legacy of honor for the event, Captain Wes has decided to forfeit this match. For the history books, this session is now recorded as 4-2 in favor of the Wessers.

Session #3 – SINGLES (Wessers 7, Dizzers 6)
Sunday afternoon had arrived and the cup was certainly up for grabs. The action was closely contested; highlighted by four halved matches. One of these ties was the captains’ match. Wes birdied #1, parred #2 through #6, and was merely even with Lauren. Wes added birdies on #7 and #8, only to get one hole up. Another birdie on #11 for Wes had him two up. Lauren clawed back and won #12, chopping the lead in half. It was at this point that the Cup was nearly clinched so the captains paused their match to go root on the boys. The captains decided to agree to a draw, the only appropriate ending for this match (did we mention Lauren being seven months pregnant??).
There were also some lopsided matches, too. Eventual co-MVPs Mark Lloyd and Joe DeMatteo won in romps by winning their matches 7&6 and 5&4, respectively.
When the tallying was done, the Wesley Wessers had ended Lauren’s two year run. We better get Kit to sew that W flag up so it can fly once again!

FINAL SCORE – 14 to 11, Wesley Wessers 13 to 12, Wesley Wessers

LETTER GRADES – WESLEY WESSERS

Captain Wesley Cupp, Captain B+, Player A
The Wessers got the W so “mission accomplished” for Wes. His inspiring Knute Rockne speech in the men’s locker room before the singles matches just may have inspired the team to victory. At least, that’s how we are going to write the story.
Wes’s singles match with Lauren went surprisingly well. Maybe all of that Monday night league “slow golf” paid Cupp Cup dividends.

Ass. Cap. Bob Pawlak, A+
The mudslides comments are a bit tired at this point (although still very much appreciated and seemingly required!). Get a tissue because a sappy review is coming:
Bobby’s dedication for the entire weekend, year after year, is truly what makes this event special. He annually puts together the slide show matchups, starts groups on #1, reports entertaining match updates, is very influential in singles matchups, and is the voice of reason during MVP talks. Did I mention the mudslides already? I really can’t imagine this weekend without Bobby and his quips. He makes this my favorite weekend of the year. Thank you.

Ass. Cap. Brittany Lynch (Harvey), A+
You have to appreciate Brittany’s allegiance to the Wessers. Just a few days away from marrying Dizzer Kris Harvey and she still proudly flies the W flag. Impressive. It is also worth noting Brittany saved Wes’s ass yet again with a rumored cameo appearance in the kitchen for an outing group dinner on Sunday. We can’t confirm or deny this as we wouldn’t want to tarnish Britt’s reputation.

Ass. Cap. Ron Artigiani, Incomplete
Ron posed for twenty-seven shoots in Big Guys Photo Booth on Friday night. One, seen below, gave Bobby nightmares for weeks. Oddly, after that noteworthy performance, Ronnie went MIA for the weekend. Legends didn’t magically reopen so our efforts to relocate him stalled quickly.

Josh Solon, B
After Josh’s 31 “heard ’round Coonrod” during league this summer, expectations were high for Josh this weekend. Unfortunately, Josh stumbled out of the gates with rookie Brad Waters. They puked three bogeys over their last four holes to lose their best ball match. Josh got back on stride for his next two matches, winning with Chlebus in alternate shot and taking down the former professional, Erik Carlson, in singles. A good, solid B grade seems appropriate.

Fred Pacicca, A+
Anyone who can sweet talk his bride into sharing their wedding weekend with the Cupp Cup gets an automatic A+ grade. What was his record this week? Don’t know. Did he play well? Don’t care. Give Cheeks an A+. Thanks for making it work and facilitating a memorable weekend, Freddy!

Mark Powonsky, B-
It was a boring 1-1-1 weekend for Spank. He and Lloyd snuck out a 1 up victory in the first match but the upstarts of DeMatteo and Carlson upset Spank’s bid for a perfect weekend in session two. Sunday brought a stalemate between Spank and Seifert, which seems fitting. They both grind their asses off and get the most out of their games.

Mark Lloyd, A
Mark had a great 2020 Cupp Cup, posting a perfect 3-0 and earning co-MVP honors. His Saturday match was much talked about as the competitive juices were flowing hot between he and O’Connor Friday night. Mark and Spank squeezed out a one up victory. Another win with WayneO in alternate shot and a 7&6 thumping of Dave Fay left Mark well rested to party hard after the Wessers victory Sunday night.

Arthur “Jeff” Gifford, Jr., B
Jeff had a more measured Friday evening that turned out to be a good investment for his weekend performance. He and Cheeks took a beating on Saturday but Jeff played nicely in Sunday’s two matches, highlighted by a satisfying rematch victory over JR in singles. JR won this singles match last year and the Dizzers snatched the Cup. With Giff’s win this year, the Wessers came out victorious. This has been a BIG MATCH the past two years and Giff took the crucial point this time around. Nice job!

Bradley Waters, B+
I hope Brad had a fun weekend. Although he and Josh let one slip away in the first match (did you hear about the shit bounce on #6 yet?), Brad took care of business with Dennis Bird in the alternate shot. Those two matches were just appetizers for the main match against Dan O’Connor on Sunday afternoon. Brad, one down, made a BOMB on #17 from the fringe for birdie to win the hole and eventually halve the match on #18 with Oakie. This was a big time putt, and a big time half point, for the Wessers.

Wayne Cacciatori, A-
Wayne-O got the late call to the bullpen and boy did he answer! He went unblemished with a 2-0-1 record, securing 2.5 BIG points. He teamed up with partners Tayls and Lloyd for two comfortable wins in sessions one and two and then halved with Mike “The Terminator” Smith in Sunday singles. If not for Lloyd’s perfect 3-0, Wayne might have had more serious MVP consideration. Well done, Wayne-O!!

John Haberer, B+
Although just a promotional member these days, Habs was still tapped for service yet again for the Wessers. His experience and clutch play is something his captain covets. Habs lived up to the hype and produced two points, including what I am sure was a satisfying 4&3 win over his buddy Rich Johnson in singles. I hope he can continue this momentum over the winter and into the Good Friday Open in 2021.

Dennis Bird, C+
We didn’t see much of Dennis again this summer. His strong work ethic is really getting in the way of his golf and fun! Dennis, we need to change this!! I absolutely LOVE how he carves out time for Cupp Cup and his respect and dedication to the event will always get him a spot on the team. As for his golf this weekend, it was just ok. It was nothing tragic yet appeared understandably rusty. He did grab one point with rookie Brad Waters in the alternate shot which had to feel good.

Michael Chlebus, Golf B, A+ Photo Booth
Mike went a good, solid 2-1 and earned a good, solid B for his grade. He split his team matches and then took care of business by dispatching the underdog, Kris Harvey, 3&2 (It was a push in Vegas).
Also, it should be noted, the surprisingly gregarious Chlebus finished second in most photos taken in the booth on Friday night (Artigiani).

Charles Martin, C
White Chuck Martin limped to a 1-2 record this weekend. His lone victory came in Session #2 as he and Giff took down Seifert and Harvey, 2 up. That little blip of success quickly evaporated as Krol took him behind the woodshed in singles to the tune of 4&3. Eek. But, hey, look at the bright side, at least Charlotte can beat up my kids. That’s something!

Robert Taylor, C+
There wasn’t much to write home about for Tayls this weekend. A 1-2 record and a 5&4 loss to DeMatteo in singles probably left Tayls scratching his head. I don’t dare give him a worse grade than C+, however, as he is much bigger than me and a certain attribute of Tayls provides great annual entertainment on Friday evening for some unknown reason.

LETTER GRADES – LAUREN DIZZERS

Captain Lauren Cupp, A-
It is a rate feat to pull off an A grade amidst a losing team effort but Lauren deserved it. It isn’t easy putting up with a team of twelve dopes when you are seven months pregnant and Lauren did it damn well! In addition to her captain duties, Lauren’s golf game was quite sharp in the singles match. There really isn’t anything this woman can’t do.

Ass. Cap. Jake Smith, A+
Jake is just so damn nice. Year after year he captains his ass off for the Dizzers from the opening national anthem until the corks are popped on Sunday evening. We would all like to thank Jake’s family for allowing us to borrow him for the weekend. Between Jake and Bobby, I don’t think I go ten seconds without a chuckle. Thank you yet again, Jake!

Erik Carlson, B+
Erik made a big splash in his first match of his rookie campaign. He and Seifert edged out Solon and Waters in what most characterized as the TV match of Day One. Erik grabbed another win with fellow rookie Joe DeMatteo in alternate shot. Erik couldn’t pull off the sweep as he ran out of gas against Josh Solon Sunday afternoon, succumbing 3&2. All in all, a solid weekend for the rook.
Enough about golf… what do you think, ladies? Spectacles or no spectacles?

J. David Fay, A
Seventy-nine year old Dave Fay came out of retirement this year when a last minute substitute was needed. Only after he agreed did we tell him he had to play the blues! Gotcha, Dave! His 1-2 record wasn’t overly impressive; his poem and all around awesomeness was. There are things that are bigger than golf that earn you a strong grade.

Michael Seifert, B
Seif, fresh off another club championship, battled all weekend to a 1-1-1 record (Update: 2-1). He fittingly halved his singles match with Spanky, his Team Wes doppelganger in spirit. I’m going to go on and just type it: Seifert is the best primetime player at the club right now. The only remaining question is if Mike’s trophy from the club championship is still alive. Bogey still is!

Vern Bradford Purrington, Jr., B+
By all reports JR was hotter than a fox in a forest fire in his first match of the weekend. He and Fay steamrolled Freddy and Giff, shaking hands on #14 green. After that things fizzled a bit as JR lost the next two matches, including the singles grudge match with Giff. More important than his 1-2 record was that JR was generally pleasant all weekend despite the disappointing Sunday. For that, we are using positive reinforcement and giving him a friendly B+ mark.

Daniel O’Connor, C
Oakie has really made a name for himself the past few seasons at the club. His handicap has plummeted a good ten strokes and he has earned the respect of the elder statesmen. Unfortunately, all of those warm, fuzzy feelings don’t get you squat in the Cupp Cup.
The team matchups were not kind, as Oakie stumbled into Sunday afternoon still pointless. He and Waters wrestled in the Singles, with Dan nursing a one up lead into #17. Brad made a miraculous birdie on the penultimate hole, netting Dan just the half point instead of the whole. A weekend shut out was avoided but I know Dan was hopeful for more.

Kenneth Caldwell, B
Ken’s improvement over the past few seasons is truly impressive and downright inspiring. Here is a guy who once lost to Artigiani in a singles match who found himself just needing to make a bogey on #18 to win a two day club championship this Labor Day weekend. Do you want to know Ken’s secret? He works his ass off. He has more sub forty degree rounds in this year than the rest of the membership combined. Consider me a fan of the work ethic, Ken.
As for his 2020 Cupp Cup performance, it was just so-so. The two-time former MVP lost both team matchups but saved face with a singles win over Cheeks on Sunday afternoon.

J. Michael Graziano, B-
Graz was a wonderful addition to the RCC family this year. His late brother, Ed, was a Cupp Cupper and we were very proud Michael could join the event as well.
It took Mike’s game a little time to warm up to the event. He and partners Mike Smith and Ken Caldwell came up empty handed in the team matches. However, Graz gave Dennis Bird a good thumping in the singles session, 4&3. Dennis is always a “tough out” so Graz should be proud.

Michael Smith, C
The “Terminator” didn’t exactly pump out the points this weekend. An 0-2-1 record for Mike felt a bit underwhelming for such a point factory in recent years. I did secretly like that when offered a half point on #18 tee by Wayne on Sunday afternoon after the cup was already decided, Mike preferred to finish the fight all of the way to the bitter end. He didn’t get the Terminator nickname haphazardly.

Richard Johnson, B
Big Dick was upgraded from doubtful to full participant just days before the Cupp Cup. That is the kind of grit and determination we love to see. Rich split his team matches but the weekend really boiled down to his BIG match with buddy John Haberer. Unfortunately for Big Dick, Habs handed him a 4&3 whooping. This 1-2 record with a grudge match loss would traditionally net a C grade. However, I am bumping him up a full letter for his toughness and willing to play through injury in order to keep the Cupp Cup weekend on track.

Kristopher Harvey, B golf, A+ volunteer
Hurricane got off to a pleasant start with a win in the first session. He and BK teamed up nicely and outlasted Habs and Chlebus, 1 up. However, it was Harvey’s session two match that was the memorable one. We are now giving Harvey and Seifert the forfeited win due to the lost ball fiasco. This moves Kris from a lackluster 1-2 record to an uplifting mark of 2-1 on the week. Boy, does that look a lot better!
I must mention Kris was an unstoppable force this year helping out around the clubhouse. From lugging around wedding chairs and tables to parking carts, Kris was super helpful when Brittany and I were getting our asses kicked. THANKS, BUDDY!!

Bryan Krol, B+ golf, A+ craps, A++ lifeguard
BK had a satisfying weekend. He went 2-1, highlighted by a 4&3 shit kicking of White Chuck Martin in the singles match. (As an aside, did anyone hear that WCM shot 77 two times in a row this summer?). BK’s golf has improved nicely but it is really his willingness to play craps anytime and anywhere that I have been most impressed with this season. Win or lose (seemingly never draw), BK is a great dude for bone throwing. Plus, if you ever get stuck in a hot tub, he is a hell of a lifeguard.

Joe DeMatteo, A
Rookie Joe DeMatteo made his presence known with a 3-0 MVP performance this weekend. Joe, once upon a time, took care of the driving range in his youth. His resurgence onto the Rome Country Club scene this summer and fall was great to see. His pleasant and grateful demeanor is contagious and we are all looking forward to his continued RCC Comeback Tour in 2021.